You're Invited To×

Suffer

It starts with hope, turns into stress, and usually ends with you staring at the telly asking why you bothered. Then Saturday comes round and you do it all again.

Join

Everton Suffering Club×

Welcome, Blue.

Your membership automatically includes:

Being nervous while 2–0 up
Refusing to celebrate until VAR has had a look
Checking the table after every single match
Convincing yourself every summer: “this year might be different”
Saying “we go again” with absolutely no enthusiasm

Still want in?

Accept My Fate

Choose Your Membership×

Pick your level of suffering

Matchday BlueWatch the full 90 and question every life choice. Proper EvertonianPress conferences, injury updates and pre-match optimism included. Forever BlueRefresh transfer rumours at 1:14am and still believe.

Small print: all packages include unnecessary emotional damage.

Everton Fan Setup×

Installing Everton Fan Experience...

Loading unreasonable hope...

> Removing comfortable leads...
> Adding 90+7' chaos...
> Downloading mystery hamstring injury...
> Preparing "we need to respond" interview...
> Re-enabling optimism for next weekend...

TIP Wait for the bar to finish, then carry on.

Finish Setup

Setup Complete×

✓ You're officially one of us

Congratulations. You are now fully configured for Everton.

Your optimism has been restored just enough to hurt again.

Once a Blue, always a Blue.

Cancel Membership Do It Again

Microsoft Windows×

×

Error 1878

Unable to cancel Everton membership.

Reason: emotional attachment exceeds system limits.

EvertonFan.exe has encountered a problem but will continue anyway.
Error code: EFC-1878-FOREVER
Your hope has been renewed automatically.
Recommended action: turn up next matchday.

Try Again Accept Reality

Critical Error×

×

Still can't leave.

Your Everton status has been written permanently to the system.

EFC-1878-FOREVER
Unsubscribe: unavailable
Refund: nice try
Membership status: FOREVER BLUE

Sound